Sunday Humor: Must Read Web Comics

I have been thinking about this one for a while, but here is a list of 5 gaming comics that every WoW player should be reading regularly.

1) NPC (Non Player Character) - A comic about a woman, her husband/boyfriend (They never really say which, but I'm thinking husband), and her 2 cats who all play WoW.  It is cute and funny.  You will fall in love with Chloe and Bink from the first time you read it.  She also talks about life outside of WoW including Dungeons and Dragons, their neighbors, their coworkers, and a lot of Nintendo DS talk early in the comic life.  They also just celebrated their 2 year anniversery yesterday.  Highly recommend you check them out.  Here is a personal favorite from the comic. (Mainly because my cats come and lick my face all the time.) 

2) Dark Legacy - This comic, which has been around for about 4 years, is almost exclusively about characters in WoW.  They have pretty much every stereotype in WoW player that you can think of.  There is the overbearing raid leader (Krom), the lackey you bring along because you need people (Donald), gnomes bent on world domination, and regular players.  Really one of the funniest WoW comics around.  Here is their latest comic.

3) Extra Life - By Scott Johnson of The Instance, this is a general geek comic covering some WoW stuff, but mostly gaming in general as well as some situational comedy stuck in there.  Here is a personal favorite from the collection.

4) Penny Arcade - The granddaddy of web comics, this comic covers the opinions of Gabe and Tycho, fascimilies of the real life owners of Penny Arcade.   And thankfully, Gabe plays World of Warcraft regularly so they do cover WoW topics.  It is mostly general gaming topics, but WoW is covered.

5) The Daily Blink - This comic is another comic completely about WoW, however, it is not a comic in the traditional sense.  It is usually a one block comic that is satiring something in WoW, whether it is gameplay, lore, opposing factions, and even patch notes.  Here is a fine example of their work.

So please support these comics by going to their sites.  They are some of the funniest comics around the net right now.

Redhawk's 1st Twitter Chat

Much like Blizzard has done in the past, I have put out the call for questions over Twitter.  They could be about WoW, druids, or even personal questions.  And, boy, did people come through on this one.  So, sit back, relax, and get ready Redhawk's Twitter Chat. (F.Y.I.  This is not my normal blogging.  Come back tomorrow if you want normal Redhawk's Gaze material.  This is a lot of sarcasm and can be very explicit.  Very, very explicit actually.)

1) Why Are You So Adorable? - Look at your moonkin, now at me, now back at your moonkin, now back at me.  Your moonkin is not me, but he could smell like me with Old Northrend Spice.  Look down, now back up, Old Northrend Spice has turned into gold coins.  Look again, and it has become an epic two handed staff.  I'm on a 310% flying mount. (Whistling)

2) Why Do These Entertaining People Never Apply to My Guild?  - Small guide.  How to get psychos to apply to your guild.  Step 1:  Make sure your GM is a well known priest blogger.  Step 2:  Have him put calls out for PvPers and PvEers.  Step 3:  Hope they are heavy alcoholics or massive drug users.  Step 4:  ????? Step 5: Profit

3) Cats or Dogs? - Come on.  What do I use on my site all the time.  Cats obviously.  You feed them, change their litter, and pet them every so often and they love you.  Or, at the very least, tolerate you while they plan world domination.

4) Mages or Warlocks?  - Mages.  I like my lock alot and drain tanking is a lot of fun, but mages are getting heroism with Time Warp.  They win.  Plus, I'm gonna find a way to do a machinima version of Rocky Horror Picture Show with all gnome mages.

5) Why is there no cow level? - Play Tauren.  Trust me, there is a cow level.  Or just be Alliance and go and kill their leader.  Then it really is a cow level.

6) Why don't druids have a cow form? - Well, first of all, the forms have to have distinguishing features, like breast.  There are no breast on moonkin form, cat form, or bear form.  So, they can't make cows because cows have utters and they couldn't show those without getting an M rating.

7) What is your quest? - To rescue the princess from a pig like creature by getting the Triforce.  Unfortunately, WoW does not have princesses, pig like creatures, or a Triforce, so it will be a while before I can do that.  So, in the meantime, I guess it would be too get as many pretty purple pieces of gear as I can and be a general badass moonkin in both PvE and PvP.

8) Why are night elfs bad? - Because Avatar came out after WoW.  If James Cameron got his hands on the night elfs first, everybody would want to be a night elf.

9) How many points would a hunter get for mounting a moonkin's antlers? - Two.  One up his ass and one in his crotch.  And count your blessings you only got two.  That means we didn't push it in far enough.

10) How do you know you are "doing it right"? - Moaning from her is usually a good start.  In all seriousness though, if bosses are dieing, people are living, and we are progressing, I am doing it right.

11) Was that in fact "what she said"?  - No, her mouth was full so it was more like afjlkafjlfjalkfjalkf;ja;fjf.

12) It's almost a wipe, you & 1 other raid member are trying to kill the boss. Who's by your side? - I'm hoping and praying it is a tank.  Unfotunately, that is not usually the way it works so I'm gonna go with Viktory, one of our healers. 

13) How bad IS @bruherd's beard? - Here is a pic if you don't remember Bruherd:

Bruherd is the non-moonkin in the pic highlighting the lack of privates.  On a scale of badness, I rate it a 3.  Compared to some of the people at Blizzcon, that beard is nowhere near terrible.

14) When will we have guild housing?  How much closet space will there be? Once we have it, is it inappropriate to still run Closet Gnome? - Guild housing will come out in patch 3000.0.1 when the player base has dropped below 5,000 players.  Closet space is dependent on the model of guild house you have.  The models will  be dungeon, castle, mansion, and San Francisco loft.  I will let you determine how much closet space is in each.  And yes, you will still need Closet Gnome.  Just find one that likes being in the closet to begin with.  I personally would name my closet gnome Tom Cruise.  That way, I could say, "Tom Cruise, you need to come out of the closet."

15) Boxers, briefs, commando? - Normal day, boxers.  Unless it is laundry day, then it may be briefs.  However, when sleeping at night, it is all commando.

16) What is your favorite holiday moment? - I don't really do WoW holidays although I do get a kick out of killing the Headless Horsemen every day.  My favorite holiday moment in real life is probably when we are putting up the Christmas tree as a family and playing Christmas music.  Just as long as it is not the NSYNC Christmas Album that my sister had at one time.

17) Do you believe achievements need to go account wide?  No.  I might have sang a different tune if my main didn't get Glory of the Icecrown Raider on 10 and 25 man.  However, I think Blizzard should add something in the achievements menu that lets you see and link the achievements from other characters on that account.

18) Duel-speccing in arenas in Diablo 3? - Probably not.  They mentioned during Blizzcon that they don't care about balance in arenas.  I am sure, just like in WoW, some theorycrafter will come up with the best arena spec for the demon hunter, but it won't mean anything.

19) Diablo 3 arenas as an esport? - No.  Since Blizzard said they won't balance it, they can't make it an esport.  I'm sure someone could come up with a mod for Diablo 3 that would balance it, but it just doesn't seem interesting enough to become an esport.  Plus, they already have WoW arenas which is a great esport.

20) What is your favorite color?  - Garnet as in my alma mater's colors garnet and black.  Did I mention that the SC Gamecocks are SEC East champions this year.  Also, let me show you the coolest moonkin in the world.

If they allow different moonkin colors, I'm making my moonkin red just like Cocky.

21) Why are  you not putting duel speccing in Diablo 3? - Because I'm not a producer of the game. 

22) Are they going to focus on PvP in Diablo 3? - No, it is an addon on the side, not a major part of the game.

23) You understand they made me sit through the Diablo 3 Q & A, right? - Yes, Bruherd, I understand.  95% of the people who get up and ask questions at those Blizzcon Q & A's are morons.

24) Do you think Vince Vaugn is hilarious? - I like Wedding Crashers and Dodgeball, so I would have to say I like some of his movies and he is funny.  He has also made some stinkers though. (Hello Fred Claus)

25) What is your favorite cut of steak and what part of the cow druid can I get it from? - I love a nicely done medium rare Prime Rib, which is right below the chest armor on a Tauren, at least according to Yahoo Answers.

26) Favorite yellow fruit? - I can only think of one and it is a banana, but to be honest, I'm not too wild about bananas.

27) What would you name your succubus? - Veronica.  And props if you know what this is a reference too.  I will give you a hint, it is one of my favorite TV shows.  The only way you could kill her is you have to sing "There's Got to Be a Morning After" backwards.

28) If I was tamable, would I be cunning, ferocity, or tenacity? - I would probably be cunning due to the fact that moonkins are adorable (see question 1) and we are not really tenacious.  But as LeetSauced pointed out, my GF does already have me tamed and in her stable.

29) Is your mom an account wide achievement or do I need to do it on each toon? - My mom is a rare elite.  You would have a better chance of finding the Time Lost Protodrake than my mom.  And, yes, you have to do her on each toon?  Plus she takes 10,000 gold from your character or permadeletes them if you don't have enough, so enter at your own risk.

30) When will Diablo 4 be released? - Given 11 years between Diablo 2 and Diablo 3 plus add on 5 years for the new IP, you are looking at 2026.  Of course, that is assuming we all survive 2012.  My opinion on 2012.  Don't be in Mexico that day. 

31) Favorite podcast you have not been a drunken fool on? - Probably Raid Warning since I was on their roundtable.  I also want to take this time to say if there are any podcast that would like me on, I'm pretty much open.

32) What hot chick do you wish raided with us?  - My girlfriend would be the obvious answer, but I wouldn't mind if Felicia Day raided with our team.  But she has to wear the outfit from the "Do You Want to Date My Avatar?" video.

33) Beiber? Yes/No/Murloc? - No, although attacked by a group of murlocs would be awesome.  Or Cthulhu to pop his head off.

34) If I name my moonkin hatchling Red, will it defile my leg? - No, baby moonkins do not have sex drives.  They just try to fly and look cute.  I would be more concerned about you trying to defile the moonkin hatchling.  But watch out when he becomes a teen moonkin.  He will defile anything that moves.  FYI. Blizzard, make a lil' LK that cast defile on small critters.  Either that or does the shadow thing that tosses them sky high.  It will be flying critters.

And that is all folks.  Thanks for the people who submitted questions.  It was a lot of fun to answer them and maybe a few months into Cataclysm, I will do one again.

Sunday Humor: Ghostcrawler Tamable Beast

I woke up this morning and checking my Facebook after the University of South Carolina's big win last night against Florida and saw the MMO-Champion feed this morning where they apparently have a new beast at level 85 you can tame. 

Yes, the one, the only, the greatest community manager ever (25 year game card please), Ghostcrawler is a rare, elite level 85 mob that is tamable by hunters.  The funniest of Ghostcrawler's abilities is the "Nerfbat" which reduces your abilities "to the ground".  However, I thought of some other awesome abilities that would be awesome for this mob to have.

- Summon Moose: When below 20% health, he summons a moose to aid him in his attacking.  After taming, he can summon a moose mount for the hunter.  All other classes scream "HUNTERS ARE OP" when you pass them on the moose mount.

- Away, Unwashed Masses: Can fear your character.  Silences, stuns, and snares all at the same time.

- On a Boat: When below 5% health, Ghostcrawler heads to the closest boat, jumps in, and starts leaving.  Must kill/tame him before he gets to the boat.

- Pally Debuff: Immune to any paladin abilities. 

- Ban Hammer:  He uses this at 1%.  If this ability is not interrupted, you will immediately be disconnected and will not be able to sign on for 3 hours on that account.

- QQ More: Makes you blind and you start emoting crying emotions.  Last 5 seconds unless you are a paladin and it last 30 minutes, but you can't hit him anyway.

Sunday Humor: Top 5 Blizzcon Wishes

With the announcement of the Blizzcon internet stream, my opportunity to watch Blizzcon this year has finally opened up.   Besides the in game pet, I like to think about what could be coming from Blizzcon this year.  Here are my top 5 wishes.

1) Korean Filter for Starcraft 2 - They consider it a sport.  We need some help so we don't run into professionals.

2) Real ID Boss - A PUG only boss in Cataclysm that if not beaten quickly enough will share your info with the PUG, starting with your name, then goes to your e-mail, your billing information, your social security number, your mother's maiden name, and finally, your bank account info.

3) Automatic raid ignore if GearScore is mentioned in raid chat - Combined with the guild leveling perks.

4) Diablo 3 Final Boss is the Super Devil

The Super Devil is at least six inches taller than the devil, rides a flying motorcycle, and carrys a jar of marmalade which is believed to cause adultry.

5) New IP is a remake of The Lost Vikings - Featuring John Cleese as the voice of all 3 vikings.  "I tell you this parrot is no more.  It has ceased to be."

While those are not likely, what is likely is a release date for Cataclysm if it has not been released yet.  Speaking of that, just another reminder to enter the Christmas in July contest.  The contest will close on 7/31/10 so get your entries in.